THOSE KINGS OF THE HRCA CHURCH

You think Papa Benedicts not such a good 'un

with his comments about contraception

but his predecessors of the 16th century take the cake

a book titled "Secrets of the Papal table"

surely sounds like a fantastic fable

medieval and renaissance Popes loved their steak

Men with raging, gluttonous 'La Grande Bouffe-type' appetites

they'd devour anything from truffles to even epiphytes

cried Leo the 10th "It's our papacy, so let's enjoy it"

from 1521 to 1531 his love of luxury and entertainment

art , letters, style and substance knew no containment

and to satisfy the Lord, he said "Lent? Let us observe it"

To celebrate his familiy's elevation to the Roman patriciate

he threw a feast at which 300 guests did participate

from their unfolded napkins little birds hopped out of

while their attired pages in threads of gold brought silver ewers

of rosewater for guests to wash their hands, face (an ears)

afore tucking into 25 lucullan courses of epcurean foodstuff 

Dishes of sugared capons baked in a casing of gold leaf preceded

by vessels of hoops and gilded balls from which birds ascended

(a much grander scale that 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie')

then eight dish dishes of mature baked peocock

dressed in skin and feathers and standing up at 12 o'clock

(you'd think they were alive without a word of a lie)

Rodrigo Borgia reigned disgracefully as Alexander the 6th

around 1494 he designed the Torre Borgia, a torture pit

that was decorated by the famed Pinturicchio

his numerous illegitimate offspring lived and died there

deployed his assassins and stored his poisons where ....

they got rid of his enemies with brioche and brio

But during Lent he'd observe seasonal fasts strictly

eating sparsely in public on salads, fish soups and chickpeas

alone, he'd gorge himself on desserts and panpepato's

fond of parties with his appalling children and their off-spring

his table groaning with capons, eels, sauces and exotic things

even pheasants in human skulls,  saying 'eat up, let other's be martyrs'

Another libertine was Alessandro Farnese of renaissance times

Paul the 3rd whose behaviour was egregious even for the times

who was nick-named 'della gonella' (the skirt chaser)

he practiced nepotism on a Theucydian scale most wild

bestowed on his every vile, grasping child

yet scrupulously observed his duties liturgical as a pastor

He's remembered for masquerades and licentious plays

extravagant feast, spectacles and other bacchnalian displays

his estates supplying him with oranges, cherries, wild boar and hare

deer, pigeon, pheasant, eels in feast prepared by chefs

a sommerlier provided wine that left the guests senses bereft

when he died of indigestion he hiccuped "I don't care"

An earlier Pope, Simon de Brion reigned as Martin the 4th

from 1281 to 1285, very briefly and was known as 'Martin Uncouth'

he had a passion for Bolzano eels in astringent white wine

so depraved in his gluttny, he kept a tank of them in his room

while drowning them in venaccia wine he would swoon

very little is recorded whether he like other meats, the swine

Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it it's said

Henry the 1st of England ate too many lampreys and soon was dead

about 150 years before Martin Uncouth (and following Popes)

yet these licentious, obsessive, gluttonous, gourmandising men

a disaster for the Church and the State ... now and then

ironically died by their own mouths, thank God, the dopes